26 October 2011
Warning.Contains sexual content.
I love Bavaria. I cannot comment much on Germany itself, as we haven’t yet ventured out of our little State and all the friendly Bavarian people I have met would be very insulted if I included greater Germany in my love for Bavaria. As I have mentioned before, it is very flat, except for the Alps. I don’t like the flat, but I like the Alps. So what makes Erding so appealing? It is the people.
For example, consider this little experience as a typical morning, day or night in the gym. I had finished my 100 minutes effort on the spinning bike and needed some recovery time having vomited into my own mouth during the session. I felt quite drained. So I arranged to meet Roger in the relaxation area.
I lingered in the massagey shower they have, so Roger went into the sauna before me. Don’t forget this is all going on 100% naked.
When I went into the sauna, in the half light, I couldn’t spot him (everyone looks the same naked), so I had to take a close look at everyone sitting about in a variety of poses, none of them trying to hide what God gave them.
When I did spot Roger, I waved… and the man sitting next to him squeezed up to make space for me! I wanted to chuckle… our three naked bodies packed tightly on the top level of a busy sauna – and nobody blinked an eye. The man had a really sweaty back, and I had to control an urge not to rub him down in reward for his gesture of friendship in making a space for me!
Anyway I got a fit of the giggles (but didn’t giggle, managed to hold it in), as the greeting in Bavaria is Groß Gott – meaning “great God”. And every time someone came in to the sauna, everyone would say “Groß Gott”. In the little scenario in my mind, I imagined that they were all praising each other’s genitals as they arrived, saying “Great God” in praise of the masterpiece and maker!
This is just one of the reasons why I love Bavaria. Nobody has anything to hide or anywhere to hide their agendas!
Anyway, after settling down, I did a secret survey – I have come to the conclusion that Roger is A LOT bigger than all the blokes in the sauna. Their bits and bobs looked all shrivelled and poorly, as if they were about to drop off! This also made me want to giggle. I was feeling very proud. I wanted to point and make everyone stop and look and shout out: “Groß Gott” in an incredulous tone of voice. Maybe even initiate a round of applause and a standing ovation. Hang on, then it REALLY would have been impressive if all the blokes were standing to attention!
Between Roger and I, we had the biggest boobs and bollocks. We should have got a prize really! Especially now that my boobs are going back to where they came from after my phantom pregnancy (as a result of a cyst). Shame, poor Roger was not allowed to enjoy them while they were at their most voluptuous, as I was adamant that they should be ignored and receive no encouragement – hopefully resulting in them sulking off back to where they came from like two naughty puppies.
In the meantime… I hope that carrying around their extra weight (now 2 kilograms EACH I hasten to add) will serve as weight training and strengthen my legs for the upcoming winter season of snow running and boarding. For someone averse to the cold, I am quite looking forward to what the winter holds.
